Wraith from the Past Crossing my Path

It's nice to live in my hometown, but some days I just want to live where I don't know anyone, especially with wraiths from the past who occasionally cross my forward-moving path, sending nasty little chills of negativity in my direction. For some reason, I dressed up yesterday to go to the doctor's office. I wore a nice black outfit, put on full makeup and did my hair, and put on my emancipation (orange) shoes. I was grateful to have them on, as I met face to face with one of my childhood tormentors. In this case, he had been cruel to me from elementary school through my first year at Holy Cross Junior College. (He never outgrew it.) He actually mocked me, along with others, during a college freshman speech. (And I wonder if you are getting your second master's degree?) This person never explained why he acted like such an asshat to me for all those years, nor did he ever apologize. Usually I am discreet on my blog, but today I will "out" my tormentor,at least with his first name, especially since he still carries negativity. His name is Eric. I did not or would not look at him, but I did glance slightly in his direction with a silent and guarded expression. He dared to wear an IU shirt. I could not bring myself to rise above this time and smile and say hello, but I am doing my best to forgive and let go for my sake. The lesson I learned is that in later years (thanks to therapy and acquired wisdom) that it is not my problem. Like many others, it was--and IS-- his problem. I refuse to take it on any more. And what a liberating feeling it has been to start putting the guilt and the issues where it belongs-- on the guilty parties. Perhaps Eric,like another, you will end up in another kick-ass, nonfiction emancipation essay. And I hope to God that you didn't pass on your cruel misogynist ways to your offspring. I'm sure your school-age son would be so proud to know that his daddy was a coward who bullied girls.

Comments

Cathi Isza said…
Lori, Oh my!! I think that you handled that very well and I also want you to know I think we all have one of those in our lives. I too was bullied, my hair wasn't styled, my clothes were not good enough and my father didn't have a professional job. I too was mocked, made fun of and bullied in many ways.

I think you can thank the universe for having the foresight of gussying up and wearing those awesome orange shoes!! I chose to go to school too and out shine all the people that I went to all levels of 1-12 with. I think we both are much better people!

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