Reflections on Quarantine Two Months Later

Two 

lcs.5.17.2020

I know this is possibly cliché, but talk about a paradigm shift. 

This year has not been easy for so many of us. 

There is a lot to be grateful for. 

Counting those proverbial blessings continues to save me on several occasions. 

I've only had one panic attack, and thankfully, that was 

in the privacy of my home. 

(Right after Mother's Day, my least favorite day of the year.)

I do get out of bed each morning. 

Some days are so much later than others, but I manage to wake up, 

drag myself out of bed, function, and work. 

Somehow. 

Thank goodness for Steve: my best friend, my love, my rock. 

Thank goodness for my kitties.

Thank goodness for family and friends, near and far. 

Thank goodness for sunny days and warm sunsets. 

But as each day passes and we hear about this pandemic and the losses and the struggles,

I grow more weary. My soul is tired. I hate masks. I really do, but I wear them. 

All the weight that I have lost before February has been put right back 

on--and then a couple give or take. (My muffin top needs an Instagram page! (*laughs*))

I've been trying to keep positive with laughing, loving up kitties, playing music, reading, watching movies, walking, writing... and trying to garden when this indecisive weather cooperates.

 Unfortunately, like so many others, I've also been online extensively with life--all aspects of it. 

Don't get me wrong, 

ZOOM has been a lifesaver for connections and work and play, 

but social networking is starting to take a toll on my well-being. 

I'm going to try to stay off of it more.

 

An online friendship status or a status in-person does not dictate one's self worth. 

That's a lifelong lesson-one of many-that I'm still trying to learn.

 People-pleasing is a self-destructive lifestyle that I'm still trying to change. 

Am I okay? You may ask. 

No, not really.  

But, I've not been okay before 

and managed through it. 

And I will again, 

because there are happier skies

above listless fog,

saddened clouds,

and angry storms,

and the sun 

will, once again,

shine.