One Small Shuffle at a Time

 My executive functioning abilities have always been lagging (thanks, ADHD), but lately, it is almost at a standstill. Writing has been sluggish at best. I lost a client this week because I could not finish an article for him.(He gave me a generous amount of time.) I could barely start and am now feeling guilt and shame about it.  I'm moving slowly finishing publishing articles for another client. It's been almost a month since posting to this blog or the SharLo blog. 

The poetry book that is supposed to come out this spring keeps getting pushed back because time keeps moving forward; most days life moves too fast. It could be the ADHD or the fact that I'm in the throes of perimenopause; mind fog is definitely one of many symptom that my reproductive system is closing shop. I'm hot flashing that is similar to chickens molting (losing their feathers) in spring. However, instead of losing feathers, I may be losing my mind. (*laughs*)  Or, maybe, the pink serenity cloud of sobriety is temporarily hiding behind the permacloud of sad that looms over northern Indiana. And don't forget pandemic fatigue; the fear of getting the virus plus the added worry when loved ones do catch the 'rona. I'm 4 months shy of eligibility for the vaccine.  I. can't. wait. 

For now, all I can do, like most people, is ride out this yearlong midlife wave of change and uncertainty and cry, laugh, play, pray, sing, walk, and write. Even if I am writing in slow motion; it is still taking steps forward. One small shuffle at a time.